we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
