I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
