Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
