just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
