dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I need to sanitize my soul.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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