a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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