no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Randomize
