There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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