Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
