Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
