I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
