so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
