what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
