Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
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