Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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