): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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