everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize