I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
