How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
