we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize