this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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