You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize