your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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