This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Randomize
