hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
