So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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