I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
