Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Randomize
