I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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