YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
