I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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