no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Ketchup is God's man juice
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Can I color on your dick again?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
