I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
