Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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