I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Terrible idea I love it
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
