Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
