"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
It all started with a game of naked twister.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
