If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
