I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
