Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
