the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
