it wasn't lemon gatorade
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
