This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
