No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
