i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
