We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
