we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
