Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
only you would photoshop your dick
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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