glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
