I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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