Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
