I molested 6 butterflies tonight
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
