You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize