Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
