If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
