If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Randomize
