well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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