Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
