the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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