I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
