You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
