You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
