11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
