wakey wakey hands off snakey
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
True strength comes from lack of pants
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
