I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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