1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
